Happy Women's day, week, year......

Another woman’s day. Bet your social media was flooded with messages wishing you, extolling the virtues of being a women and how ‘beautiful’ and ‘fantastic’ it is to be a women. There is deluge of messages telling us to stay fantastic, strong, blah, blah, blah…. Maybe if you are among the lucky few, you even got a day off and went to lunch/dinner with your girlfriends, caught a movie, maybe even got drunk. What the heck!! It is women’s day, you are allowed. You caught that discount sale just for all you beautiful women, smiled when the shopkeeper wished you and generally had a top of the world feeling.

That is what women’s day has been reduced to for most of us anyway. Discount offers on movies, dinners, clothes and the celebration that we feel we are entitled to. But wait, pause, think, rewind.

Is this what we have fought for? For centuries? We have come a long way, agreed. Today we have a right to education, the right to vote, the right to go out into the world and earn a living and much more. But they all seem to come with a rider.

While we may go out and earn, we have to adhere to stereotypes of not being too ambitious. We are earning only to satisfy the need of our families. If we are being idolised it is because we are the all sacrificing and multitasking goddess, who puts others and their needs before her own. We are supposed to adhere to the society’s norms of being ‘beautiful’. Always groomed, always well turned out.  

Even for those of us who have been fortunate enough to have a supportive family, feminism and women’s liberation is a way to appear cool.  

Do we need equality when we are much more than men? Physically we are stronger. Men wouldn’t last long if they had to give birth and they definitely wouldn’t be able to put up with the mood swings and the pain we have to go through every month. We are also mentally more advanced. We can multitask much better than men. Science has time and again proved that our brains can store far more and function better than men. We handle crisis better. Don’t let them tell you differently. They can joke and laugh all they want about our ability to store memories.

What do we need to be liberated from?

More often than not we need to liberate ourselves from our own thoughts and needs. We have an intense need to define ourselves vis-à-vis men. So we put ourselves in competition with them. We strive to multitask, to push limits, so that we can appease a society that still looks down upon us while chasing our dreams.

What we need to liberate ourselves from is our mindset that keeps us from breaking free. Today’s world is offering us equal opportunity in all aspects of life. All we need to do is reach out and grab our share. The rest will fall into place.

We need to let go. Stop looking at ourselves from a conveniently male perspective.  Let us relax, be different. Stop trying to be perfect. Let us be imperfect, be a little whimsical sometimes. It is okay to be lazy or opinionated. It is okay to lose your temper at times and put people in their places. It is okay to look un-groomed and grumpy sometimes. It is okay to be human. To demand that everyone thinks of you as human and not some perfect machine that can work miracles.

We need to be just us. Let’s stop being the victims. Look around you. How many of us try to put down other women because we can?

Look at the headlines on Women’s Day. A young woman lost her life because her husband and in-laws, yes mother-in-law included, wanted a male child. We have to stop bowing to the dictates of a patriarchal society that wants a male heir. Stop female foeticide. More often than not it is women who work against women in families. Don’t pressurise your daughter to get married when she wants a career first. Most mothers dream of a grand wedding for their daughters rather than see her as a successful career woman. Dream bigger; encourage her to follow her dreams. 

Mothers bring up your sons to believe they are only as human as your daughters and not some demi-gods who need to be worshipped. Teach him to respect and protect women, teach him young and he will hold on to it for as long as he lives. His attitude will impact the lives of his wife, his daughters and every other woman he comes across in life. Maybe, just maybe, we will see less of those rape and molestations that we are putting up with now. And girls use the opportunity that is given to you. A lot of us fought a hard and long battle for it. Freedom comes with responsibility. Use it well.  

So let’s resolve to make those small changes that will matter. While in the world outside marital rape is still legal, female foeticide is the way of life, while the politicians are throwing barbs at you trying to demoralise and bring you down, while you may still face catcalls and sexist remarks as soon as you step outside, stand up for each other. It is all we have at the moment. It can change the life of those in your immediate circle, starting with your family. Stand with each other instead of against each other. Don’t expect the men to do anything for you, do it for yourself, do it for each other. Don’t expect governments to empower you, empower yourself. Then we wouldn’t have to wait for that one day when the world will celebrate us.