From One Woman to Another

A Woman's World

First of all, an apology for being AWOL, for so long. It has been long since I posted anything and my excuse, trying to finish my next book. That said, let's get back to writing this blog. So we are going to celebrate another Women's Day. So a Happy Women's day to all!

This post is not about feminism. No, not even if it is women day. This is about us. A one on one relationship with each other. Let me be more honest. It is an issue I have been pondering and wondering for a long time (yes musing). Most times, we are fighting the world at large. the big bad men who have subjugated us for so long. The #MeToo, #TimesUp, for instance. The demand for equal pay. We can demand differently and be heard. We need each other for that. We have a long way to go, still and will need the support of other women. Is it not? Me thinks so!

But! yes, but. The question is do we walk the talk? A study by the University of Arizona, found that women are more likely to be insulted or put down by other women, in the work place. In the survey, they found that as women climb the ladder of success, in the corporate world, they are more likely to face insults and rude put-downs by other women, as compared to men being rude or insulting to women, or even men to men (Yes, yay! we have finally got them to treat us better.) That does not absolve men of being un-accepting of us but there it is. We treat each other worse than they treat us. Could it be true? 

Looking around, I think yes, it is true. I think historically too, it was women who objected to other women, whose thoughts and deeds were far ahead of their times. Women, who were in position of authority, always tried to suppress those below them. In our country, look at women who support their sons more than they would support their daughters. Even in this century, there are nooks and corners in the world, where the mother will consider it not worth the while, to send their daughters to school. They would be more than happy, if the girl could stay at home and help out in household chores. It doesn't matter that they were denied opportunities and can offer that to their daughters. Mothers-in-law may have gone through torture at the hands of their own mothers-in-law, but they will not support the poor daughter-in law, if she is going through the same. Sometimes, they go an extra mile to create obstacles in their path. All it needs is for her to step up and stop the torture. Very rarely, have we come across mothers-in-law standing up for their daughters-in-law. Aren't we all women here? Didn't you juggle house and work? Why is it so difficult to take a stand.

Many a times, of course, the argument is that perhaps women are dependent on the sons or their husbands for emotional and financial support. But then, your son was the piece of clay you could have moulded when he was still a kid. Maybe taught him better. Cases of women torturing and killing other women for dowry or because she failed to give birth to a son or even maybe because she had difficulty in having kids, galore.

Some one I know has a house-help, who went through a long an torturous relationship with her mother-in-law.  She was unable to bear a child. Her husband was okay with it but the mother-in-law was insistent that she get herself treated for it. It did not matter who was medically unfit here. There was a continuous rounds of quacks and tantriks, who gave the women various medicines and almost starved her with various diets. By the end of the end of the day, the poor women could hardly stand up. Her husband's protest were brushed aside and our intervention brought us threats to keep out of personal matters. Finally fed up, the woman and her husband moved out of the house for the torture to stop. The mother-in-law now complains how ungrateful the son is.

Coming back to the workplace, I have often wondered, why is it that we hate other women. We love bitching about the most popular girl in the office or about our senior, behind their backs. We comment on how they dress, what they eat, how they bring up their kids, the list is endless.The school, colleges are no different. 

And yet, we find solace in our girlfriends. Heartbreaks, domestic violence, insomnia, PMS issues, beauty treatments, heck, even if we need to bitch about our husbands, we choose to go to our girlfriends. A few hours out with them and you are laughing and crying with them. They get you. They know where you are standing. Maybe they have been there, done that and can advice you. We are the best friends to each other and the worst enemies. 

Is it possible for us to stop, take a step back and think. So the next time someone bitched about another women or is trying to bring down the other, we say no. Women should not do that to women. Be they our in-laws, family, fr-enemies or our worst enemy. Can we say no? How difficult would it be, for us to ease each others difficulties and make a little difference in how each of us face the daily grind? Can we bring a smile to each others faces without resenting the smile on the others face?

Well, this is just me and my musings. Hope you give it a thought too. And yes A HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY!!!